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Senior Sex: No, It Won’t Be The Last Time

FULL SPEED FOR THE DEED

When you begin having sex with the senior man you’re dating, your first surprise will be the non-geriatric quality of his performance (more about that later). Your second surprise may be how often he wants it. You will want to credit his enthusiasm to your seductiveness, and you will be right, but only partially. His desire for frequency may be more sociological than hormonal.

At a book club meeting some weeks ago (our membership is limited to the post-menopausal) we eventually strayed from our literary focus and began a spirited discussion of senior sex.  “The most salient feature of sex with a senior man is…” ventured one woman. Her sentence was finished by a chorus of several voices: “…he thinks it might be the last time.”

THIS COULD BE THE LAST TIME

You probably remember these lyrics from the song performed by the Rolling Stones (who are even older than we are):

Well, this could be the last time. This could be the last time.

Maybe the last time. I don’t know. Oh no. Oh no.

The Stones were in their 20s in 1965 when they recorded this song, and its origin was in Gospel, not sexual fantasy. Now that they are old guys, I wonder if Mick and the boys recognize it as an anthem for aging men all over the world.

THE RELENTLESSNESS OF AGEISM

It’s hard to blame senior men for feeling sexually depleted when Viagra ads insist that healthy men over 50 (fifty!!) need pharmaceutical help. And when wellness advisors suggest abandoning the “exertion” of penetration in favor of — yes, hugging. And when stand-up comics never miss an opportunity to point out the repulsiveness of senior sex.

In the face of our culture’s rampant ageism, it’s a wondrous healthy and happy senior man who can romance a woman at age 60, 70, 80 and beyond and feel confident about delivering on his and her sexual urges. Ladies, let me assure you that there are plenty such men out there, God bless ’em. They are to be encouraged, yes!

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'Senior Sex: No, It Won’t Be The Last Time' have 7 comments

  1. July 19, 2014 @ 12:47 pm Joan

    This is so true. Between my divorce and my next sex partner was about 15 years, and I noticed the difference. My ex-husband was 38 when we broke up and the next time I had sex was with a 64 year old man. There was a big difference in what you’d call confidence I guess.

  2. June 25, 2014 @ 7:21 am Belinda

    80 and beyond? Oh please. Sienna, I like your optimism, but my guy is 70 and struggling. Maybe some Viagra would be actually be good in our case

  3. June 25, 2014 @ 6:18 am Pollyanna

    Ageism is as bad as racism.

  4. June 25, 2014 @ 6:17 am MLGarner

    How are you going to get into bed after watching a Viagra ad? I agree with you, Sienna. Older men get bombarded with bad messages all the time. It’s a tragedy.

  5. June 24, 2014 @ 12:18 pm Tracey

    I honestly never thought of it this way, but it makes sense.

  6. June 24, 2014 @ 11:15 am Tilly

    I hate that Viagra adds are all over the TV. It’s embarrassing to be with a man when they come on. They make the men real macho so the guys they’re preaching to identify with strong men and not wimps.

  7. June 24, 2014 @ 9:20 am ElizAnn

    Oh, boy! I could write a book on this one. I’ve been hustled into bed plenty of times by a randy old guy eager to test his metal (hahaha). It’s not a problem. I like sex, and it almost always goes well, but I have detected that tiny bit of anxiety.


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