Google Analytics Alternative

Why Porn Is Corn For Senior Couples

So your senior man wants you to watch a porn movie with him? Not unusual. I’m often told by senior couples who visit sex therapists that they’ve been advised to watch pornographic films together.

Let’s hope the therapist means soft core.  I find hard core pornography unwatchable, but not because I’m a prude. Far from shocking me, porno movies make me laugh out loud. The production quality is abysmal, the script is banal, the actors’ chemistry is nil, the venues (kitchen counters, bathtubs, motorcycle seats) are untenable, the audio is a monotonous “Oh my God!” fakery, and the extreme close-ups of genitalia belong nowhere except an anatomy class.

IS PORN MADE FOR WOMEN, MEN OR BOTH? 

My response might be called “female” by some. The experience of watching porn is apparently gender-specific, meaning that the perception of a 60-plus man is vastly different from that of a 60-plus woman viewing the same porn film.

For a woman, the film quite likely has nothing to do with the present. It’s a trip to cherished memories of youthful lovemaking. She sees two slim and beautiful bodies entwined and thinks of a time when she, too, felt eager to uncover and display her body openly and proudly. She recalls how she was electrified by her strong young partner’s embrace. “Ah, yes,” she is saying to herself wistfully, “I remember those wonderful times.”

The man, in contrast, receives the sight of two bodies rolling about and the sound of heavy breathing on the audio track not as something that’s over but as something he’s right in the middle of. “That’s me!” he’s thinking. “That’s exactly who I’d be and exactly what I’d do if I found myself with a sexy young movie goddess like her.”   

YES TO EROTICA, NO TO HARD CORE

If what I’ve learned from my readers is a proper indication, most women over 60 would rather watch “In the Realm of the Senses” than “Candice Cunt and Her Nights of Lust.” Erotica is a far more effective way to warm a woman (should I again say most women?) than porn could ever be. And something even tamer could be a turn-on. A recent University of Rochester study finds that “chick flicks” will do the trick. Reasearchers find that watching a romantic movie and then discussing it may be effective in bringing lovers together.

On the other hand, according to an informal study of internet forums by an Art of Manliness writer, “some (men) have said that their sexual performance with their wives or girlfriends has suffered due in part to their relentless diet of porn.”

So if your senior man wants to set the scene for some hot and sticky sex, and that’s all right with you, shun the nasty stuff and dig out a copy of “Date Night” with Tina Fey and Steve Carell. There’s no better aphrodisiac than shared laughter –  by which I mean true pleasure, true enchantment and delight, not an attack of nervous giggling inspired by watching naked, over-endowed actors writhing gamely on the floor of a pretend-Hawaiian hut.

By the way, here’s a link to an excellent article about the effects on men of watching porn. “Ten Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Porn” appeared on the GoodMenProject.com site, a treasure-trove of good advice for men — and women. 

 

 

 

Like the Article? Share It!Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on TwitterEmail this to someone


'Why Porn Is Corn For Senior Couples' have 15 comments

  1. October 29, 2015 @ 1:40 pm Sienna

    Amen to that, Dee. Thanks.

  2. October 28, 2015 @ 1:46 pm Dee

    Watching intimacy…touching….caressing…soft alluring kisses on the screen is a turn on. whips…chains..ropes…are sadistic…not errotic or sexual.

  3. August 27, 2015 @ 6:18 pm Pretty Polly

    Watching porn is the last refuge of the sexually repressed.

  4. August 21, 2015 @ 2:39 pm Sienna

    Deborah, I do admire your willingness to watch soft porn if a new relationship leads you in that direction. I endorse soft porn, but I must agree with your late husband when it comes to the nasty hard core stuff.

  5. August 17, 2015 @ 12:52 am Deborah

    I haven’t seen a lot of porn. My dear,departed husband basically thought if you’ve seen one porn movie, you’ve seen them all. He found them boring. I will admit I do find them arousing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any “hard core” porn, just what you happen across flipping through HBO or Showtime late at night.
    My husband and I never watched porn together, but I would not be opposed to it if a new man comes into my life.

  6. January 18, 2015 @ 3:28 pm ceecee

    I agree with Walker that there are different kinds of porn and all of it doesn’t have to be a turnoff – at least it’s not for me. But you make a good point that there is the good the bad and the terrible. Anything too squishy, or the ones in which the couple are clearly zero chemistry – these are a waste of time, not just disgusting.

  7. April 13, 2014 @ 5:47 pm Curley

    Thats funny, ElizAnn! The videos, I have seen… some are down right fake! So, as a male… I get a quick laugh! As I was watching, comedy central! 🙂

  8. March 11, 2014 @ 9:02 am ElizAnn

    I dunno. I kind of like porn once in a while. Too bad I don’t have anyone to watch it with. LOL

  9. March 11, 2014 @ 8:45 am Sienna

    Walker, as always your comments are thought-provoking. I’m sure most women agree that the ol’ “in-and-out” is definitely not a turn-on, and because, as you say, most porn is made by men, that’s how we’ve come to define porn. But you’re so right when you say that “men are visual.” Like almost everything else about relationships, compromise may be a good idea here.

  10. March 11, 2014 @ 8:34 am Walker Thornton

    I’ll enter this discussion with the understanding that conversations about porn tend to be pretty strident.
    Yes, most mainstream porn is made by men and is geared to the male point of view. But I don’t think it’s a given that all or most women are turned off or disgusted by porn. I’ve watched porn with a partner. And, while much of it was not particularly arousing for me, the end result was a positive one.
    Men are visual and they enjoy seeing sex. I don’t know why exactly but I think that it provides an entertainment that isn’t found elsewhere–does it diminish their partnered sex? Not necessarily, it may help if it increases the overall level of arousal-something that holds true for men and women. When we think about sex and arousal our mind is engaged and we are more likely to want sex.
    There are new trends in erotic film–directed by women and made with more of a plot line and less closeups of the “In and out” (which isn’t a turn-on for most women). I think those make a good compromise for men who enjoy porn and want their female partners to experience that with them.
    I appreciate you taking on this topic as it can elicit strong reactions!

  11. March 10, 2014 @ 11:07 am EGarth

    I wouldn’t put up with this, period.

  12. March 4, 2014 @ 2:05 am Tooshy

    This is funny – I JUST had this experience. It was a shock to find that this nice quiet man I was dating brought in three horrible tapes and asked me to take my choice based on the disgustingly suggestive photos on the front. I was completely turned off, beleive me.

  13. March 1, 2014 @ 8:03 am Patsy R.

    This is so true. Good one, Sienna

  14. February 13, 2014 @ 6:13 am Sally H

    I never could understand why men are turned on by porn movies. They have the opposite effect on me for mostly the same reasons you list here. Yuck!

  15. February 11, 2014 @ 11:16 pm Tracey

    Old men need help getting off, that’s why. I think it’s pretty darn insulting to the woman they’re with. A man who needs porn should just stay home and do the deed with himself, as in masturbation, Why should he subject a partner to gross porno stuff?


Would you like to share your thoughts?

Your email address will not be published.

www.datingseniormen.com