I once dated a man who was perfect in every way except that he had no sense of humor, which is to say he was not perfect at all.
IN LA-LA LAND, NOT HA-HA LAND
The worst thing about people who don’t have a sense of humor is that they don’t know they don’t have one. If I had said to this man, “you’re humorless,” he might have said, “Why, that’s ridiculous! I like a joke as well as the next man.” He did indeed respond well to jokes — as long as the humor was not at all subtle, made no ethnic or national references, and hadn’t a syllable of profanity. His life was a series of strivings interrupted by the occasional knock-knock joke.
Senior men and women know about heartache, and they know that without comic relief life’s vicissitudes can be soul-crushing. Humor is high on their lists of desirable traits in a partner. Ninety five percent of mature men and women posting online dating profiles say they require a sense of humor. The other 5% are curmudgeons who just want someone to cook, keep the house clean, or pay the bills.
GRIN AND BEAR IT
Looking for an old guy who will make you laugh is great, but you’d be wise to recognize the ups and downs of old guy wit. A lengthy repertoire of jokes is not necessarily what you need. Telling jokes – or laughing at them — is not what having a sense of humor is about. What it IS about is viewing life through a lens of lightheartedness.
The man you want is one who can find fun in the moment, who can make you laugh at your wrinkles, who will convince you that “bad hair day” is a term reserved for the digestive idiosyncrasies of cats. In turn, you appreciate his gift of upbeat banter and you show it (good humor is catching).
The best relationships thrive on inside jokes, and the goofier these are the more they bind a couple and make them weak with happiness, though an outsider listening to their repartee would surely think them a pair of idiots.
“I GOT A MILLION OF ‘EM”
Hold out for someone optimistic and cheery. Well, not TOO cheery. Buoyancy, confidence, good will, and just a little silliness are what you’re looking for. Spending days and nights with a serial joke teller, a devotee of slapstick, or someone who makes light of absolutely everything is not going to do it for you. Too much jocularity is just as bad as too much sex.
Wait! Is there such a thing as too much sex?!?