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Geezer Geeks? You’re Competing With Code

Geezer Geeks are different from their younger peers for whom the click clack of keyboards was wombware. An Old Guy computer wiz is likely to be an engineer who in the 1970s abandoned vacuum tubes for bar codes, then stayed on the computer side of electronics to see what might happen.

My neighbor, whom I’ll call Ralph, qualifies as a geek, though he gets regular haircuts and often has his car washed. Ralph is retired from an electronics lab at a major corporation. He is rarely seen outside his home office, where he kindly de-bugs our computers and does geek work as a hobby. He is much in demand by us all, including a feisty little woman (let’s call her Ruth), who needs no help with her computer, but is romantically drawn to professor types.

THE JOY OF COINCIDENCE

Ruth and Ralph met on a chilly Sunday morning when they arrived simultaneously at the supermarket checkout wearing identical fishing vests and UGGS.  Ruth emitted a shriek of discovery and began effusing about their matching attire. Ralph had no idea what she was talking about. Ruth is a fashionista, whereas Ralph wears clothes merely to keep from getting arrested.

Nevertheless, he politely steered her grocery cart to the parking lot and downloaded the bags to her trunk. Some days later she sent him an email, asking if he’d escort her to a party. He accepted the invitation and showed up wearing a very nice pair of slacks that very nearly matched his sport jacket.

Everything would have been fine if Ralph’s former colleague had not also been a guest. The two men fell at each other in a flurry of geek-speak. Geeks never waste time with meaningless warm ups like, “How about those Steelers?” or “Dude! Awesome auto!” They go right to the bugs still lingering in VB and Delphi, and they can come to blows over the relative merits of RISC and VLIW.

Ralph’s inattention to her didn’t faze Ruth, until forty minutes into the evening she looked for him and he was gone.

HOW THE HTML DID THAT HAPPEN?!

You might be thinking, “Aw, he’s gay and he left so he could get it on with the other guy.” You would be wrong. Ralph explained later, quite sheepishly, that he had simply forgotten he was with a date. He and his friend had stumbled out of the party in a rush to investigate an exciting new transfer protocol that could revolutionize the download of firmware updates and….oh, never mind.

Ruth forgave Ralph and they’ve had a couple of dinner dates.  He always picks her up on time, tells her how nice she looks, orders her favorite foods, pays the bill, and leaves a nice tip. For a while she read admiration in his expression – he seemed transfixed by her voice, her eyes, her figure. Now she realizes he remembers little or nothing about their conversations; he’s in another world. “That beatific expression is just code rapture,” she sighs.

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'Geezer Geeks? You’re Competing With Code' have 11 comments

  1. November 17, 2014 @ 9:25 pm GAIL

    This is really clever, Sienna. I know some geeks, but never dated one. I think they’d think I was too dense. I can barely manage to do emails, and my son has to help me with posting to facebook. I’m not sure I can even get this comment to work lol. Anyway, I like this website and I wish you good luck with men.

  2. September 24, 2012 @ 3:07 pm Sienna

    Not sure, Patricia….a book contract is easy to dream about, long for, but awfully hard to get. :-)

  3. September 22, 2012 @ 7:26 am Patricia aka BoomerWiz

    I agree about the book contract. Does that interest you

  4. September 5, 2012 @ 10:11 am JPWriter

    This is top-drawer writing about a unique subject. You need to get a book contract. Fabulous.

  5. February 6, 2012 @ 2:16 pm Pollyanna

    I once read some sly post written by a man of course that went something like, “have sex with a middle-aged woman; they’re so grateful.” That’s the way I feel about geeks. Hahaha

  6. November 7, 2011 @ 8:59 am Willy's Willy

    I’m an old guy geek and I am sexy as hell.

  7. October 27, 2011 @ 12:42 pm MsPreserved

    LOL – Is this couple for real? If so I have to say that I don’t see much of a future for their relationsbip.

  8. October 19, 2011 @ 4:49 pm Olivia

    Geeks can be interesting …… for a while. The possibilities of what’s next in the computer world would always seem to be more interesting than most conversations. But maybe because I’m geeky that way.

  9. October 19, 2011 @ 8:35 am LB

    This is Hilarious! I gotta go get a geek.

  10. October 19, 2011 @ 8:19 am Lillian

    I just don’t find geeks very interesting and most of them are unattractive. “Ruth” seems like a glutton for punishment.

  11. October 19, 2011 @ 8:04 am molly campbell

    HAHA! I married a geek, who is now a geezer. I guess other women might want to date him–maybe I could rent him out!


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