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Blue Pill Blues

THE MEDIA-MADE FLOPPY

Guys, if you’re over 65, you’ve got more than a 50% chance of suffering erectile dysfunction, according to experts trotted out by the NYTimes. Since most insurance companies don’t cover Viagra, and you like sex enough to want it, say, twice a week, the Times kindly points out that it’s going to cost you about $1,500 a year. That’s if it works. Some guys only get the red face, hives, headaches, sleeplessness and other bad karma effects.

Plenty of the men who make up that 50%-plus are victims of the Great Lie – that the sexual power of the senior man has an expiration date. This naturally makes a man over 50 fear that every erection may be his last. I’ve said it before in this blog and I’ll say it again. A physically healthy senior man who is absolutely sure he can get it up can get it up. Forever.

Meanwhile, men who suffer this condition are understandably desperate to do something about it — because they fear they are not being true men to their partners, and because they have been defining themselves as sexual beings for decades. When that comfort zone goes away they feel lost. For them, Viagra must truly seem like the Fountain of Youth and the Holy Grail all in one.

THE SEARCH CAN BE DISHEARTENING

If Viagra, its sister drugs Cialis and Levitra, or alprostadil (a self administered injection that expands blood vessels) aren’t the answer, you can try the penis pump. It’s a vacuum device. When you put a tube over the penis and pump the air out of the tube, it pulls blood into the penis. Then you slap a ring around the base to maintain the erection and you’re set. Or not.  I mean, you have to hurry.

Vacuum cleaner

The last resort is the penile implant, which requires the implantation of a couple of cylinders, a fluid reservoir, a pump, and a deflation valve. You gotta want that manly feeling of penetration awfully bad if this is the way you’re going to go.

OKAY, ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER

ED can be a precursor to diabetes or a sign of hypertension, and I don’t mean to demean those whose erectile difficulties are linked to serious health issues. But too many men are impotent because they listen to psycho-babble about the inevitable floppiness of old middle age. If you are, as I’ve said, a healthy guy and you have a great partner, you don’t need auxiliary help. You just need to believe in love and the motivational power of lust.

rose petal bed

Defining sex as penetration with a rock hard penis is limiting. It’s pure locker-room machismo. There are many other ways of pleasuring your partner. Unless you’re one of those deluded old guys who’s looking for a 30 year old. In which case — get over it before you  make an incredibly big fool of yourself.

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'Blue Pill Blues' have 6 comments

  1. March 13, 2012 @ 8:12 am Party Girl

    Older men are better. They have more experience and they know how to please a woman. It’s interesting that comments above are from men.

  2. May 11, 2011 @ 1:59 pm MG47

    I had a friend who was approaching his 60th birthday and he thought it would be the end of his sex life. He was worried because his wife is 6 or 7 years younger than he is. I was dating a 58 year old man at the time and we had great sex. I told my friend about this and he seemed interested in that fact. I haven’t talked to him since, for about 6 months. He’s still married, though. lol

  3. May 6, 2011 @ 8:34 pm Patsy R.

    I’ve had sex with a man in his seventies who could put a thirty year old to shame. Get over it is right.

  4. July 18, 2010 @ 10:20 am Jeremy

    I am a 66-year old senior man with disabilities that don’t include a lack of interest in sex. A long time ago an accident confined me to a wheelchair, but my sexual organs work just fine and my appetites are the same of even stronger than other men my age that I talk to. Viagra is the least of my worries.

  5. July 3, 2010 @ 5:14 am Paul

    A couple of guys I know use Viagra like a recreational drug – like they would use pot or something. They think it makes them young and they go out with younger women all the time. Maybe I’m missing something.

  6. February 11, 2010 @ 11:23 am J.T.

    This just seems a too-glib way to approach it. I am a man who would like to think I am ready to have sex and I have a great partner, but I can not always depend on the power of positive thinking. I don’t use Viagra, because I agree about the hype, but please don’t think it’s just about thinking right. A lot of things are happening to us seniors and some of them are limiting in ways we can’t do anything about.


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