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An Affair Of The Heart

Conversations with PAST PERFECT almost always turn to things that happened in high school — things like baseball, football, and basketball.  He seems to feel that because we sat together in biology class all those many years ago, he and I will reminisce with equal enthusiasm about twenty-yard end runs. His devotion to high school athletics extends beyond having married (and divorced) the captain of the 1964 cheerleading squad.  He goes to all the school games, and in 2004 he made a six figure contribution to the new stadium.   

Follow the hiker

FOLLOWING IN HIS FIT-STEPS

When PAST PERFECT called to suggest a hike on nearby Snowshoe Mountain, I anticipated a challenging afternoon. I’d listened for months to details of his exercise routine, which seemed to consist of lifting weights, playing touch football with his sons and grandsons, and running three times a week.  I was eager to suit up for a few hours of wandering up and down mountain pathways.

Somewhere between the second and third mile markers PAST PERFECT began inventing pebbles in his shoe, untied shoelaces, and leg cramps. By mile marker four he had seated himself on a rock and seemed unable to continue our trail walk. I was concerned because he seemed to be short of breath, but he waved it off as a heel spur. I reached into my backpack to get him a power bar and a Gatorade, then trudged though the trees, out to the road, and down the mountain to the parking lot. I drove the car to a roadside shelter, where he had managed to make his way.  

NO NEWS IS OFTEN BAD NEWS

When I didn’t hear from PAST PERFECT for two weeks I thought nothing of it.  We are both busy people, and our relationship was never an everyday thing.  After three weeks I began to be concerned, and when it was almost a month I gave up on email and phoned a mutual friend. 

operation

“He had a heart attack,” said Barney.

“Is he –?”

“He had a triple by pass and he’s okay now.”

“Omigosh.  Is he in the hospital? I want to visit him.”    

There is silence.

“Is there – some reason I shouldn’t go to see him?”

More silence.

“I wouldn’t go there,” Barney says. “Cheryl would think it was – odd.”

“Cheryl?”

Silence.

“THAT Cheryl?”

“Yeah. That Cheryl.”

Cheryl is okay.  At least she was, back in the day when she was Head Majorette. Apparently, Cheryl and PAST PERFECT are an item. Embarrassing for me, but definitely not heartbreaking.  PAST PERFECT has always been a fall back position, a chance to eat well in good restaurants, a chance to share laughs about the crazy stuff people do when they are seventeen.

majorette

SIGNIFICANT ANOTHER

There are a lot of senior widows and divorcees out there looking for good looking, well-heeled senior men like PAST PERFECT.  I can’t really blame him for keeping more than one woman on the string, and I’m really glad he’s going to be okay after his heart attack scare. Thank goodness I didn’t make the proffered Las Vegas trip with him, though. Cheryl would REALLY think THAT was odd.

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'An Affair Of The Heart' have 3 comments

  1. March 17, 2012 @ 2:08 pm AudreyZ

    I think I know this guy or someone like him – a double dipper usually gets caught somehow, and not always by having to have a heart attack lol.

  2. January 3, 2011 @ 11:58 am ElizAnn

    This man is not worth it. Glad you saw the light.

  3. July 4, 2010 @ 2:30 pm amy623

    The worst thing about senior dating is that there are so many more available men than available women. I knock myself out trying to figure out how to be more attractive and nicer than all those hungry women just waiting to be on his list. And most of the time the men aren’t worth the effort.


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