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Senior Gal Plaints As Performance Art

COMPLAINT CHOIRS ARE EVERYWHERE

Found in Tokyo, Helsinki, Philadelphia, Jerusalem, Singapore, Seattle, Istanbul, and seemingly everywhere else, these choirs are based on the premise that complaining is pervasive, constant, and creative, so it should have its own official arts function. Complaint choirs make venting fun and cathartic.  

philly complaints choir

Complaint choirs attract participants and adherents from all sectors.  So why not us?  Senior women looking to date senior men have grumbles enough for several songbooks, even a full-scale opera.  If we get together now, we’ll be in the vanguard, because so far, these groups are regional. Ours would be hormonal.       

Regional quirks are part of the fun attached to complaint choirs. The Helsinki choir sings about saunas, deforestation (“we’re cutting down old trees to make toilet paper – and then you can never find the stuff when you need it”), also ringtones (Nokia’s their national treasure).  Philadelphia’s crew asserts that “New Jersey drivers can’t drive or park.” Chicago’s jazzy group is wary of drunken Cubs fans and cries that “obese urban monster squirrels decimate my backyard tomato crop.” Jerusalem’s choir sings of Israel’s agriculture and its devotion to high tech – “Bananas are never at the right stage of ripeness,” and “I work for the computer instead of it working for me.”

TUNES, NOT TRAUMA

Budapest complaints are heavy on the vicissitudes of mass transit, and Singapore’s banned-in-public choir offers the sly message that “what isn’t precisely permitted is prohibited” in their town.  Tokyo focuses attention on pressures felt in the Japanese workplace (“I hate taking care of my boss when he’s drunk”). Hong Kong sings about political reform, educational opportunity, and societal change.  In Philadelphia, singers offer up more mundane annoyances, such as “I hate men who make comments on my hairy legs.” All these choirs are tuneful and funny. See the Philadelphia video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1yjW7RETU0

When you look at the collective works of the world’s complaint choirs you realize how many complaints are universal (I hate my job, nobody listens to me, airport security took my mouthwash.).  Singing their complaints binds people together. Complaining as an art form offers emotional release.

DATING SENIOR MEN IS COMPLAINT CITY 

And who needs emotional release more than senior women in search of senior male companionship?  A Single Senior Women Complaint Choir is an idea whose time has come.

singer CU

Think of the store of complaints WE can call upon – commitment phobia, bad breath, lazy libido, scheming daughters, vindictive ex-wives, miserliness, clicking dentures, general cluelessness about what women want, and the inability to drive at night. Girl, can you handle the standing ovations?  Can’t you just see us with Letterman (that dirty old senior man!)?

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'Senior Gal Plaints As Performance Art' have 1 comment

  1. February 10, 2011 @ 8:52 pm Mitzi

    Great idea – we could use some of the complaints in this blog – they’re funny and they’re true.


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