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Stood Up, Stunned, Sore As Hell

My friends Lisa and Leo are having a dinner party. “Can I bring a friend?” I ask coyly.  I imagine sweeping into Lisa’s dining room on the arm of TV IDOL. Her guests will be mesmerized by his elegant bearing, his luxuriant head of silver-grey hair, and his media-modulated French accent. 

dinner party

I phone TV IDOL and hold my breath while he checks his calendar. “Zat soun’s manifique” he says.  He offers to pick me up at 6:30, giving us plenty of time to get across town to the party. I hang up, give myself a hug, and begin an intense, week-long process of selecting the perfect attire.    


At 6PM on the appointed day, one half hour before he’s scheduled to be in my driveway, TV IDOL phones, announces that he’s come down with a bad cold and will not be coming by.  I laugh good-naturedly, believing with my whole heart that he’s kidding. There is a pause. “This is a joke, right?” I say. “Non, I cannot come tonight. Ma throat….”

Before I tell you how badly I behaved, let me say that this is the SECOND TIME he has done this very thing.  The first time it was to be an intimate dinner for six. Up to now I had repressed the humiliation of having to stare all that evening at an empty place setting because I wanted to give TV IDOL – and myself – the benefit of the doubt.  After all, he’s a senior – he can have real health issues. But this?  I knew for sure that if a call came from the press room at the White House, TV IDOL would hop over there in a flash, even if his presumed malady had brought him to death’s door.   

broken phone

Once again to be utterly mortified?  Once again to smile bravely through an evening of happy-couple revelry, hoping to hide my shame?  I threw the phone against the wall with such force that it shattered into shards. I paced from room to room, filling the air with expletives. I fired off an immature and offensive email, the gist of which was that rudeness trumps fame. TV IDOL has not replied.

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'Stood Up, Stunned, Sore As Hell' have 9 comments

  1. August 11, 2014 @ 4:00 pm Hopeless

    This man is one of those self-absorbed types I keep running into. Aren’t there any nice and kind senior men in the world?

  2. May 18, 2012 @ 7:54 am Sienna

    You’re so right, Walker. This guy is gone from my life, at least in terms of being date material. However, we have mutual friends and do see each other regularly — he with his new partner, and me with — who else? — PASHA!

  3. May 5, 2012 @ 4:54 pm Walker, aka The Diva of Dating

    Rudeness trumps fame, Indeed. Good for you. It’s a total lack of respect for you. I hate it when men turn out to be such cads!!!

    And, it hurts, no matter how we frame it!

  4. May 5, 2012 @ 4:34 pm Tracey

    You need to ditch this guy.

  5. December 19, 2011 @ 8:10 am Alicia

    I think you’re brave to admit this. Getting stood up is a real blow to a person’s ego. Even if you can really blame the other person, you still feel like hell. When this has happened to me I went into a funk and didn’t want to accept any dates for a long time.

  6. September 20, 2011 @ 3:46 pm MsPreserved

    I think this is doubly bad when you’ve been wanting to show off your friendship with someone who has a degree of fame, like this media person. Not only do you miss out on the showing off but you end up alone besides. I think most people who are used to fame are insensitive to others because famous people think the world is all about them. Better luck next time, Sienna. You’re too upbeat to let this get you down.

  7. June 9, 2010 @ 12:01 pm Patsy R.

    It’s so deflating to be stood up. The last time it happened to me I was a lot younger, but I always wonder when I have a date with someone who doesn’t sound too enthusiastic if it’s going to happen.

  8. May 3, 2010 @ 2:58 pm Phyl301

    I believe you. I’ve done this. It’s expensive.

  9. January 9, 2010 @ 11:59 am Mara

    Been there. Men are such AH’s.

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