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Close But No Cigar

FIREFLY’s downtown apartment reflects his senior man personality. It’s eclectic but tidy, warm but watchful, settled but open to new possibilities. He likes visitors to take off their shoes and leave them by the door, just next to the incense-burning Buddha.


Sunday night is movie night. We sprawl together on the lush leather couch and watch Netflix films; when we finish those, FIREFLY digs into his retro library for Humphrey Bogart or Charlie Chan. We eat cheese and crackers, salmon-and-endive salad, and chocolate mint ice cream. He gives me a foot rub.

On the wall above the flat screen TV are photos of FIREFLY with various celebrities, folks like Barbara Bush, Ted Kennedy, and Jesse Jackson. Also on display are group photos of the inner city teens FIREFLY’s foundation has mentored.  I am proud to know FIREFLY because he quietly does pro bono work that benefits disabled and disadvantaged kids.

FIREFLY and I are settling into something that is subtle and sweet, but quite unlike a romance.  Months into our acquaintance, he has not made any romantic moves, and I haven’t either. We are comfortable with each other, we like all the same things, we laugh at the same jokes, and we have the same life rhythms. But our embraces are chaste; it’s friendship, not infatuation.

The Incredible Jumping Boy

Now, you may be saying, “If this guy isn’t Old Mr. Right, why don’t you move on?”  Hanging out with FIREFLY doesn’t mean I have to give up my love quest. I have no way of knowing for sure if FIREFLY would refuse to dance at my wedding, but I honestly don’t think he would. For now, it’s all good; we are having tons of fun. Besides, one doesn’t just dispose of a friend.

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'Close But No Cigar' have 3 comments

  1. February 4, 2011 @ 6:24 pm Sienna

    I thought about that. I also thought about me having celulite hips and not being 35.

  2. May 18, 2010 @ 1:16 am Sienna

    I meant this story to illustrate one of my major themes: that not every date has to be a precursor to marriage. Not every date has to ring your chimes. We old gals have to lighten up. Friendships are precious and rare.

  3. May 17, 2010 @ 2:21 pm Lillian

    This doesn’t really seem like a dating blog. It seems more like a friendship blog, like you’re into just friendship and I have to wonder if you’re not commitment phobic. This man seems perfectly nice. What is it going to take?

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