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Woody Weighs In On Love


I just read that Internet dating is a $1 billion-plus business. For some reason, this made me think of Woody Allen’s famous observation about love.


I sent this Woody quote to five guy friends:

“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down.”

These are their replies:

STARGAZER: I have to take issue with “To avoid suffering one must not love.”  My observation is that to love MAY cause you to suffer but by avoiding love you do not avoid suffering … you only avoid that particular way of suffering  There are many other ways and things that will cause us to suffer. Thus, because I take issue with the beginning premise I can avoid trying to figure the rest out! I hope you’re getting this down.

FIGARO: I have suffered such a longing to suffer for so long that I no longer feel any suffering. I just hope I find love — or love finds me — so I can suffer (happily) again. It helps that I have gotten into a humor habit. Humor sublimates my suffering to the point that I don’t know if I’m suffering or not. Eventually, when you and I meet, we will find out if you will care enough to let me happily suffer. If it isn’t to be I will be fine, because if nothing changes once again I will be back to suffering without knowing whether I’m suffering or not.

FIREFLY: I like Woody as a film maker, not as a philosopher

PAST PERFECT: I don’t know what the hell this guy is talking about. Who’s Woody Allen?

PASHA:  On ne trouve pas cette idée chez Ovid.

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'Woody Weighs In On Love' have 5 comments

  1. July 22, 2011 @ 10:50 am Ricki

    I guess we have to think of Woody as a philosopher.

  2. June 28, 2011 @ 7:38 pm Lillian

    I think online dating has changed the suffering style. You can fantasize longer, meaning that it takes a while to actually meet somebody and during the time you are just emailing you can imagine you will be walking into the sunset with him to have and to hold, etc. When reality sets in and you find out he’s short and fat and a cheapskate you’ve at least had a few days or weeks of thinking positive.

  3. April 21, 2011 @ 8:32 am ElizAnn

    An oldie but goodie. I read this before, but when I saw it on twitter I had to read it again. This post is another reason this is such a unique blog. I agree with the previous comment that I hope you’re not still dating any of these guys except maybe the French man since I don’t understand what he said.

  4. November 8, 2009 @ 8:42 am uberVU - social comments

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    This post was mentioned on Twitter by hdean: RT @tweetmeme Woody Weighs In On Love | Dating Senior Men

  5. October 23, 2009 @ 12:08 pm juli

    I can’t look at Woody Allen without being reminded of my late father. Not sure why, exactly. A little bothersome. More bothersome is that I think my father would have not only understood Woody’s philosophy, he would have agreed with it.

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