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Sex And The Single Senior

If you think finding and dating a senior man is complicated, wait till you get to the sex. A young man starts maneuvering before the barista completes the first-date lattes, but an older man may take time to make the pitch.

If you’re dating a guy who’s over 60 and trying to bed you every waking minute, by all means hurry to the comments section below and share your joy with the readers of this blog. But in the earliest stages of a relationship, he may not be so insistent. Why will your senior man not fall upon you at once, and with unbridled passion?

  • He fears comparison with your former lover(s).

Imagining his lady in the arms of another man is a drag for men at any age. Given your years of experience, a senior man may suppose you’ve been pleasured in ways that satisfied you – well, deeply.

  • He fears comparison with his former self.

You may find a senior man who can’t help comparing his present endurance level with his performance 40 years ago. Not wanting to confirm his worst fears, he delays the sexual encounter. If he doesn’t try, he can’t fail.

  • His blood pressure medicine is playing havoc with his libido.

High blood pressure can interfere with both desire and performance because it restricts blood flow to the penis. Some BP medications have similar effects. He hates the outcome, but likes that he can blame it on medications, not aging.

  • One Viagra pill can cost $8.

At this rate, a serious relationship with you can cost $1200 a year.

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  • He has imagined you naked and suspects your body and Angelina Jolie’s are not the same.

The mature man’s dream of cavorting with a lithe young female body never dies, but if he is a realist he will embrace you for the goddess you are, albeit one whose derriere is a tiny bit saggy. What — he’s Brad Pitt?!?

  • He is uncomfortable suggesting AIDs testing.

Do you REALLY know where he’s been? If he doesn’t ask you, you should ask him. It’s not 1960 anymore.

  • There are other women.

Did you withdraw your profile from the internet dating site the instant you met him? Did he?

  • He’s been there, done that, and now he’d rather fondle a TV remote.

Some men don’t mourn their testosterone loss. They go with the flow — or in this case, with the ebb. These men are often cuddly and affectionate, and if you’d just as soon not have your bodice ripped, the two of you can be very happy.

THE DRIVE TO RECAPTURE THE DRIVE

Never having been a man I can only imagine how difficult it can be after 30 or 40 years of raging hormones to suddenly feel that the mechanism won’t work as it always has — immediately, and without fail.

It’s a rare woman who measures her whole life’s success by her orgasms. But a guy has been defining himself as a sexual being since he was about 11 years old. It follows that a waning libido can set off a real identity crisis.

Low libido troubles a woman who has it mostly when circumstances are moving her toward sexual encounter. But when a man no longer craves sex every waking minute he may think his life is over. Old men want sex now even more because they don’t want it — well, they want it, but not quite the way they used to. The drive is to recapture the drive.

THE BODY OF KNOWLEDGE

Senior men have performance issues. Senior women have body issues. Men are thinking, “Can I get it up?” Women are thinking, “Why am I not Charlotte Johansson?”  These obstacles can be overcome only if egos are intact and a sense of humor prevails.  If you can’t depend on your ego just yet, lean on your ability to summon a smile. Sex is supposed to be fun, anyway.

It’s important to choose the right vocabulary. One wrong word is pretty much going to bring the situation to a rapid and unsatisfactory conclusion. A man whose penis – in the midst of things – suddenly refuses to cooperate will appreciate a woman who can convey that it’s no big deal, that she knows this is the first and last time his body has ever failed him.

As for women — we respond to compliments soulfully rendered, such as “your skin is so soft,” or “your nipples are such a turn-on.” We like best the old faithful, “I think you’re absolutely beautiful,” whether we are or not. The phrase makes us feel beautiful in the moment, and what a great moment that can be.

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'Sex And The Single Senior' have 107 comments

  1. September 26, 2016 @ 9:40 am Tammy

    Tdillard@yahoo.com

  2. September 7, 2016 @ 4:26 pm Kenneth blencowe

    Would like to meet a ni e, clean man or woman for friendship and sex, aged between 60yrs and 75yrs.

  3. September 7, 2016 @ 4:22 pm Kenneth blencowe

    Would like to meet a nice clean man or woman aged between 60yrs and 75yrs. For casual sex and friendship

  4. August 29, 2016 @ 11:58 am Sienna

    Laura – It’s difficult to embark on sexual experiences after being without a partner for some time, especially at our age — true for both men and women. But your new guy sounds sensitive, someone with whom you can slowly learn to be intimate again. All the best to you in your new relationship.

  5. August 27, 2016 @ 9:17 pm Laura

    Good article…thanks. I am a 63 yo woman that has not had sex for 10 years and I have started dating a 70 yo man and we get along very well. He is a gentleman and treats me with respect and has not forced himself on me. I related totally on your observations of how women think less of their sexual abilities especially if you’ve been celibate for a long period. Your article made me aware that men have the same anxieties. For me, sex isn’t the only measure of intimacy. Being in someone’s arms and feeling loved and safe is an intimacy I have missed since my divorce. Your article has given me a renewed confidence that will help me to enjoy exploring a mature, loving relationship with someone new. Thank You!

  6. August 17, 2016 @ 3:19 pm e murphy

    I’m 28 years old,and dating a 78 year old.The sex is fantastic.What’s also fantastic is his fat wallet.

  7. August 11, 2016 @ 3:30 pm Steve

    I am 67 and I am dating a young woman 21. And “we” like it. It was her idea and I rejected it though initially.

    It isn’t about money although she gets $250 each month if she wants it…of course she does! And she likes it. At this point I will excuse the young men for not buying her a bracelet or necklace or Nutella. They are too young to appreciate a good woman! They don’t buy their girls much. Don’t take them out enough. Don’t tell them that they love them enough. Don’t caress them enough. Don’t look at them enough (and let it be known to her). They don’t teach their girls about life (I do). And some guys have other girlfriends too.

    We like the same things. We like the same music (50’s – current), food, movies, places, people and dogs and life. What else could a relationship need? Oh, the sex. That is good too! It is slow and easy and fun. And we waited 2 months before the first experience in bed. And it was fun with no anticipation and discouraging events. Fun like I was 35 again.

    She is nice looking, nice body and nice personality. She is reasonably street smart and she is also intelligent and entering her 2nd year at the university.

    So what do I have that is attracting her? It wasn’t like this when we first met or even a few weeks later. Now it is in the 8th month and she is still hanging on to me. And I like it. And I love her and the more we know each other the more we love each other. It is obvious. So why is she attracted to me?

    The initial attraction is simple. Most men are pigs. They are rough, tuff and macho. The sex is aggressive and abusive almost. I am slow and easy and very satisfying. I am good looking, a good body, a face that has been taken care of with Oil of Olay since I was 21 and has progressed to better facials. I am exciting to be with. I am a former corporate pilot and I’m
    experienced. I am street smart, 2 university degrees, Pilot Certificates and more from the FAA.

    This girl can have any guy she wants. But she wants me. She loves me. We don’t grab ass or kiss in public but the public knows that I am not her father or her uncle or her grandfather! It is obvious I am her boyfriend/lover. And sometimes we play for the entertainment of others. We hear their comments and giggle!

    We don’t live together. She lives with her mother and 17 yr old brother. Her mother doesn’t know I exist. Her mother threatens her daughter with money, food and the living situation and expenses for the university if her darling angel doesn’t do exactly what she says.

    She has keys to my apartment. She has access to my debit card too. She has access to my life. Complete.

    She told me that she would not leave me until I die. So what do I have that other men do not? I asked her why she chose to be with me. She said, ‘I like the way you look, I like the way you look at me, I like the way you hold me, I like the way you smell, I like the way you talk, you walk and you think and I like you because you love me…and the sex is hot’. And I cut and pasted that line from her message to me.


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