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Is There a Shadkhen in the House?


PASHA and I found each other through the combined efforts of his family and my friend Anita. They all believe fervently that he and I are just right for each other.

I picture them sipping Yardin wine together on a Jerusalem terrace (they live in Israel; PASHA and I both live in the USA). They are exchanging the details of our histories – two people who lost spouses they loved profoundly and mourn deeply; two people who, while others found new partners, have remained adrift because they couldn’t imagine finding anyone remotely suitable; two people who would come to the right relationship with tons of saved-up generosity and warmth.

israelis chatting

Beyond all that, Anita insists that what’s really important is the offbeat sense of humor she is sure PASHA and I share.

At first, PASHA declined. “She lives WHERE?” My home is four hours from his, and he lives in New York, where there is no shortage of available senior women. Our friends persisted. They urged him (you might say nagged) to call me, but he didn’t make the first contact by phone. “As a first move, a phone call would have made me feel too formal and too desperate,” he has told me. “Plus it’s kind of old-fashioned.”  

He sent me an email that could only have come from a senior man who had communicated with many women he’d never met (friends’ referrals as well as on-line matches). He urged me to Google him to see that he was legitimate. I did, and – wow. No key to the sense of humor, but the rest of him is perfect for me.

We have not met face to face, but we are emailing and talking on the phone nearly every day. I’m mad for this guy. At least the way he sounds. Okay, so I’m suffering from premature ardor. But the big day is coming — we’re planning where and how we’ll meet and it looks as though it’ll be soon.

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'Is There a Shadkhen in the House?' have 4 comments

  1. September 6, 2011 @ 10:06 am MsPreserved

    I really like the balance in this blog, by which I mean that you seem respectful of differences in the men you date. Too many women are blogging only about their bad experiences with “jerks.” You’re proving that it often takes two to make a bad date. I’m really happy that you and “Pasha” have found each other and I hope it works out.

  2. August 8, 2010 @ 6:03 am molly campbell

    Wow. I had no idea there were blogs like this. You remind me of “Eat, Pray, Love.” More power to you! molly

  3. October 18, 2009 @ 10:37 am Sienna

    Stay tuned….. :O)

  4. October 18, 2009 @ 10:09 am Betsi

    Can’t wait to read the outcome!

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